On being cheap...

I am, almost to the point of being a pain in the ass, cheap. OK, Sandy will testify that this is not the only contributing factor to my being a pain in the ass. Not by a long shot. That said, some of my frugality was learned from her.

But I'm cheap. Without exaggeration, most of my wardrobe comes from Sams Club, or I got it for free. I wear company logo shirts, or golf shirts from my old neighbor Todd. Todd is the director of golf at a Marriott course in Florida. When Marriott changed the name of his course, he gave me something like 40 shirts. Although he's a size larger than me (very tall), I've done a pretty good job of growing into them (getting wider).

Last weekend, I saw a guy that has to be much worse than me. He was edging his yard with one of those manual edgers our parents had when we were young. How stinking cheap must you be to still be using one of these things? We live in a pretty nice neighborhood, so it's not like this guy can't afford the $20 investment for a small weedeater. Clearly, while frugal, he did not subscribe to my other primary characteristic - sloth.

Anyway, this thought process reminded me of a very funny story I heard the other night. The comedian Ron White (scotch drinker on the Blue Collar comedy tour) told the story of going to buy some new sunglasses. He had lost the pair he'd had for several years. Upon being quoted the price of the pair he had selected, he was stunned. He inquired how the man could sleep at night. He asked, "How is it that a pair of sunglasses cost more than a 27" color television?" The clerk replied that he (Ron) clearly didn't understand - these glasses filter out all harmful UV rays. Ron replied, "No, you don't understand. A television receives a digital signal that has been bounced off a satellite and converts it into moving pictures and sound so I can watch a football game. And it still costs less." A smartass redneck - hmmm, I think I can relate.

For the record, my current sunglasses were found by our son on the people mover at Universal Studios.